Blinding White Lights On My List
by AmySparkles
Summary: Nick's world exploded into a white flash of silence and nothing else mattered.  Missing scene for 'Meat Jekyll'.


_**Hi guys, I've been MIA for the last couple of months and that's mostly because of real life issues and partly because my love for CSI had waned a bit. But, I have since gotten back into the show and I think I actually really like the new guy and the dynamic he seems to be bringing to the show. It seems that there'll be more humour mixed with darkness like there used to be instead of just being dark like it has been recently. Anyway, I'll stop rambling.**_

_**This is something that I started a while ago but had no motivation to finish. I've actually been working on a different fic concerning Nick and a HUGE mistake he makes. That is actually nearly done but when I saved my progress for the night I saw this fic sitting in my 'In progress' folder so I decided to give it a go. **_

_**This follows directly after Nick shoots Jekyll in 'Meat Jekyll' and I've taken a few liberties with his condition. Thanks for reading and reviews are very much appreciated. **_

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'Nick?'

There was something floating above him.

'Nick... I need you to look at me, Nick.'

He could feel the cold, hard floor beneath him but everything else felt distant. The one constant was the steel object hanging loosely in his right hand. He could feel the cold seeping into him while his left arm seemed to be fading away. He heard the pulling of fabric and realised that he could feel his vest being unzipped and moved to the side. His eyes opened as Ray undid the last button of his shirt. His chest felt cold and he noticed the sticky feeling that was spreading across his shoulder.

'Nick… I'm putting pressure on your shoulder to try and stop the bleeding. Nick?'

Nick closed his eyes as he felt a dull ache beating in his shoulder that had replaced the earlier throbbing. He heard rustling beside him and then a shadow passed along his closed eyelids. A thousand needles buried themselves in his shoulder and his eyes snapped open at the new wave of pain. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, it was like he was looking through his grandfather's glasses. When his vision cleared Nick saw Ray kneeling beside him with his jacket pressed against the wound in his shoulder. The pressure felt like Ray was grinding his bones together and Nick preferred it when his arm felt numb.

'The ambulance should be here soon, how do you feel?' Ray was staring deep into his eyes but Nick felt the calm radiate from a man experienced in medical emergencies. Nick noted the damp feeling that was underneath his arm and he thought he could feel it spreading underneath his body. A single stream of liquid ran down between his collarbones and separated to stream down either side of his neck.

'Jekyll is...'

'Dead, don't worry you got him.' Nick knew that he had shot him enough times that he could be sure but he had to check, he was more used to dealing with these kinds of situations than Ray.

'That's… good.' He blew out a breath that he had been holding just as Ray put more pressure on his shoulder.

'Ahh…' Nick's jaw went rigid and his teeth ground together.

'How do you feel? Does anywhere else hurt besides your shoulder?' Ray's voice was low but firm and Nick had to admire how in control he seemed.

The ceiling above them seemed to get further away as Ray became the most focused thing in Nick's vision. His shoulder was starting to tingle as if a thousand bee stings had replaced the ache from earlier. He felt the pull of broken skin and damaged flesh as he turned his neck.

'The bullet didn't hit an artery, otherwise there would be a lot more blood.' If Nick didn't know better he'd think that Ray was treating a patient for the flu in a clean and sterile hospital, not trying to stop the blood flowing from his shoulder onto the dark restaurant floor.

Nick felt like he was sinking into the floor, all of his energy seemed to be draining away. His arm felt detached as if it was years since he had used it and it was finally giving up on him.

'Clark. Where is he?' Ray's eyes softened as he pulled them away from Nick's shoulder and looked into his eyes. Nick heard a moan coming from somewhere behind him and Ray looked up. He was about to ask him if that was Clark when Ray leaned on his shoulder harder before getting up and walking out of Nick's eyesight. Nick was panting from the increased pressure that was put on his body.

He heard mumbled words and remembered that Papa DiMasa was still in the restaurant with them. Nick turned his head slightly and looked towards the overturned table behind him. He could see Ray kneeling next to the man and whispering reassurances to him. He looked around the room and couldn't see Clark. In the back of Nick's mind he worried about how much strength it took him to lift his head up and look around. He remembered sending Clark out to the back of the restaurant to check on the man that now lay slumped against the wall. Nick lifted his head and managed to drag the upper part of his body with it.

Everything faded in and out for an instant and then became crystal clear as if someone had turned the light on too bright. It felt like he wasn't there, like he was viewing everything through a magnifying glass from somewhere high above. His shoulder protested loudly at the movement and his body felt stiff, as if he had been lying there for years. His head felt heavy and a deep thumping was taking residence at the back of his skull. His legs felt shaky as he pulled one underneath himself and then rocked his body forward to get to his knees. The thumping got louder and he felt the pressure in his shoulder build. Every vein in his body felt like it was pumping in overtime and the pain began radiating out towards his chest and stomach while curving around his shoulders. In the distance he heard sirens but he could only focus on getting to his feet. His left leg cooperated slowly as he dragged it forward and hauled himself up.

The room swam as he felt it tilt and slide while he stumbled forward. He could hear Ray's voice somewhere behind him but his only focus was on staying upright as everything around him seemed to drag him down. His knees wouldn't lock in place and he struggled to make it far enough to lean on the wall for support. He felt a hand on his back and suddenly Ray was there supporting him.

'Nick where are you going, you need to lie down.' Ray looked concerned and Nick noted the new expression in his eyes. The siren's seemed to be getting louder and he felt as if he was floating, too distracted by the noise to focus on the room in front of him. His breathe wouldn't come quick enough and he felt like he had ran a marathon. Ray's hands were on his back and the front of his chest holding him steady, an anchor in the middle of a storm. The sirens grew louder and he heard shouting coming from outside as bright beams of light shone through the entrance and made patterns across the floor.

Nick tried to focus on moving forward but he couldn't. He needed to find Officer Clark and make sure he was okay.

'Ray. Nick.' It was Catherine's voice. She was there, followed closely by Brass. Police officers with guns drawn were spreading out across the room, disregarding the CSI's and instead looking for any more threats. Their eyes swept across the room taking in every detail. Ray's body was shielding most of Nicks as the two turned to look at their friends, Nick more slowly than Ray.

'Ray, Nick, what happened? We heard the…' Catherine's eyes widened as she caught sight of Nick, he looked as white as a sheet and barely able to stand. She suddenly remembered the call for two officers down that had come over the radio and the panic she had felt. She had driven faster than ever before with Brass hot on her tail .

'Nick, what…' Her face dropped as Ray moved to the side and she saw the blood stains all over Nick's shirt. Where his vest and shirt had parted Catherine could see red liquid trailing across his chest and stomach like claws leaving a trail of destruction behind them. She heard Brass curse behind her.

Time seemed to slow as Nick looked around to see his friends. The room moved at a slower pace than his sight and everything took a moment to catch up. His lungs felt empty as if he had lost the necessity of breathing.

Catherine looked scared and her eyes betrayed her. Her breath hitched as she remembered the last time Nick scared her, it took a long time for her to be able to look at a computer screen and not see him trapped and staring back at her. She couldn't do it again.

'Nicky' Brass breezed past her and almost ran the short distance to Nick. He sounded angry. Nick hoped he wasn't mad at him. He hadn't done anything wrong had he? He tried to get Papa DiMasa out of there and call for back up the minute he knew that Jekyll was with them but then... well, all hell had broken loose.

Nick saw Brass move towards him but the edges of his vision began to blur. His head felt light, as if it was floating and he shivered as his lungs seized up. He saw Catherine's expression change as she stepped forward. He felt a hand grab his arm but it was quickly wrenched away as Ray seemed to move further away from him. He didn't realise he was falling until his back hit the ground followed quickly by his head. He heard a crack as the air left his lungs and his vision greyed in and out.

The ceiling was his only sight for what felt like forever until Ray quickly appeared above him with Brass to his right and Catherine across from them both. He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder and another on his arm. A small moan escaped his lips while his shoulder protested at the fall. He shivered with the cold as Catherine put her hand on his forehead.

'Nicky, what happened?' She brushed her hand through his dark hair all the while holding onto his arm for dear life.

'Jekyll… Papa DiMasa's son, he…' Nick stopped as a sharp pain in his chest stole his words. He felt a single drop of sweat fall down his cheek as Ray put two fingers against his neck.

'His pulse is thready.' Ray muttered to himself as if trying to find the answer to a crossword puzzle.

'Ray, do Nick's lips look a little blue to you?' Brass sounded serious, it was something Nick didn't like hearing in his voice. Ray pulled his hands away from Nick's neck and looked alarmingly at his co-worker. The bare edges of his lips were starting to turn blue in stark contrast to his pale skin.

'Of course… Nick, how does your chest feel?' Ray looked at him and suddenly began to press his hands against Nick's chest slightly from the top of his rib cage to the bottom. Nick's eyes grew wide and Ray could see fear aswell as pain in them. Nick tried to respond but his words were lost in short pants of breath that cemented Ray's theory.

'What's wrong with him Ray?' Catherine sounded scared and concerned as a thousand different emotions battled to win her attention.

'He was short of breath but I just put it down to shock. The pneumothorax must have begun as a simple one and then progressed to a tension pneumothorax. His attempts at walking around and fainting wouldn't have helped matters.' Ray looked at Nick's pained face and felt an immense sense of guilt at not having caught the problem earlier.

'I don't… faint.' Nick tried to smile but winced as his last word caught in his breathe. His chest felt as hot as fire and tight like there was a belt tied around it.

'A collapsed lung?' Catherine had been silent as she took in the fact that Nick hadn't just grazed his shoulder. Her eyes had grown wide as she kept her hand on Nick's clammy forehead trying to offer comfort while grounding him.

'Where is that damn ambulance.' Brass looked livid while Nick inhaled as much air as his lungs would take.

It felt like shutters were going down all around Nick. His legs had lost their ability to hold him up, he felt like he was breathing through a whistle and now his hearing seemed to be that of an underwater diver.

Brass was staring intently at Nick. If he didn't feel so weak, Nick would squirm or at least ask Brass what he was thinking. It reminded Nick of the week before his Grandmother died. She had died of cancer, spending the last few months living with his Aunt a mile away. Every day for that last week Nick, his siblings, his cousins and anyone else in the family that was around would go and take turns sitting with her. Each time Nick sat with her he could tell that she was looking at him differently. Her eyes were more alert, even through the fog of medication, and she would look him up and down as if trying to remember every single detail about him. It was like she was trying to take a photograph of him in her mind so she could bring it with her.

'Nick, the ambulance should be here any second. Okay? You hear me Nicky, just stay awake a little longer.' Catherine's voice startled Nick. Was he falling asleep? He didn't think he was.

'Where…' Nick's tongue felt heavy, in fact his whole body did and somehow he felt as though he was miles under the ocean.

'It's alright Nick, you'll be patched up in no time.'

The voice sounded far away and Nick began to notice how dark the room was getting. He could feel his eyes slide shut but he couldn't stop it.

'Nicky?'

He felt himself sink into the hard, cold floor and just as everything became quiet he heard a thump. Distant voices filled the room and Nick felt someone lift his head and put something over his mouth. He could feel someone pulling his shirt and touching his shoulder but his entire chest felt numb on the outside and like fire on the inside. A familiar hand was gripping his arm tightly and Nick felt as if that was the only thing that was real.

Something soft was pushed against his shoulder with force and Nick's world exploded into a white flash of silence.

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Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed it and I'd love to hear what you think… Good or bad.


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